I'm sorry I can't be Perfect
by Even Roses Bleed
Summary: What if Andrew hadn't been the only one home during "The Girl in Question"? PG13 for some minor bad words, and some minor sexy stuff.
1. I'd do Anything

Disclaimer: If they were mine, someone else would be writing this...Or it would have happened. All lines that are directly from the show, I got from buffyworld.com. All the chapter titles, even the story title, are either parts of, or titles of Simple Plan songs, which sadly I don't own either, I may not even own this computer...

_** I'd do Anything. **_

"Spike! O mio dio!" Andrew said happily, hugging Spike tightly, "E come un sogno incantevole." He said as he step back smiling, "What are you doing here?" Angel stepped forward,

"About to ask you the same question, Andrew," He said. Andrew looked toward Angel, "Buffy and Dawn are letting me crash. My casa was incinerated when that thing happened." He said, still smiling. "What thing?" Spike asked.

"Cultural misunderstanding," Andrew said, laughing nervously, "Let us speak of more pleasant times. Entrate pure. I part my threshold." He said switching back to his peppy self, Angel and Spike just stared at him, "I mean my apartment. Obviously."

Spike and Angel entered the apartment, with only slight trouble in the doorway, pushing past Spike, Angel walked in first. "So, um, I had plans later this evening, but I can change them if you guys wanna' hang."

Andrew said, waltzing around, straitening things up. "Uh, I could show you Rome at night, a city of contrasts. Anywhere you want to go, anything you want to see." He said, looking at them again.

"Buffy." Spike and Angel said simultaneously, then looking at each other oddly. "Right, because you two both-" he said nodding, then crossed his arms, "Yeah. She's not here." He said, sounding a little dejected.

"Where'd she go?" Angel asked, sounding a little upset himself. "To meet The Immortal." Andrew replied nonchalantly. "By herself?" Spike said surprised. "I told you, I had plans." Andrew simply replied.

"When did she leave?" Asked Angel worriedly. "Just missed her," Said Andrew. "Then we're not too late." Spike said, sounding relieved. "Of course," said Angel, "It could be worse." "You're telling me." Said Andrew,

throwing himself onto the couch. "Most nights they never leave the house, just curl up on the couch and snuggle." Angel frowned, looking slightly hurt, "There's snuggling?" He asked. "For starters," mumbled Andrew, then he sat up straight,

"Wait. Uh, you didn't know they were...together?" Spike looked at Angel, "Its worse," He said. "I don't see why you're so worried guys," Said Andrew confused, "He seems like a nice guy, but then, I'm usually gone at nights, and when he's here.

But if you really wanna' talk to someone, Dawn's right h-" "Andrew, what's with all the talk-What the hell are you doing here?" Said a familiar female voice. "I thought you were finally dead for good."

Dawn said dangerously, stepping out into the apartment, and staring straight at Spike. "Get the hell out of my house you bastard." Spike looked completely shocked, but that soon wore of into hurt.

"What?" He asked, very close to tears. He thought they'd made up and were friends again, he thought she'd forgiven him, but apparently he'd thought wrong. "You heard me you hell spawn, get the hell away from me!"

"I thought you forgave me Dawnie," he said carefully, as he reached out his hand to touch her hair. She jerked back violently, "Forgive you!" She almost screamed, "You're sicker than I could imagine,

how could you- What the hell do you- God just get the hell out of his body you bastard!" She shrieked. Now not only was Spike hurt, but extremely confused. "What?" He said again. Dawn looked like she wanted to cry,

"I can't be mad when you look like him," she screamed, "So change! Just change to someone else, just not him, just not Spike," She said, her voice lowering to almost a whisper. He got it now, she thought he was The First.

"Oh Dawnie," he said tenderly, and quickly pulled her into his arms. She pushed against him, but soon realized that she could push against him. At which point she pulled back, "Oh. My. God." She gasped,

then promptly slugged him across the face. His head snapped to the side, and he felt a series of punches on his chest. "You bastard," she sobbed, "How could you leave us like that?" The tears she'd been holding in

since the death of her surrogate brother came full force. She pummeled his chest some more, then grabbed his shirt and pulled herself to him. She cried into his shirt as he whispered words of comfort and reassurance to her.

"You came back," she sobbed. "You really came back." "I'd do anything for you Dawn, I'll never leave you again," he whispered. Angel and Andrew, momentarily forgotten, just stood there, watching the scene with interest.

(What'da think? Four more chapters on the way! Reviews please!)


	2. God Must Hate me

Disclaimer: Is on the first page! AN: Thanks for your reviews guys, my friend inspired me to post stuff, but I'm so nervous about it, so you guys help out tons! Keep those reviews comin' please!

**_God Must Hate me  
_**

Dawn's sobs reduced to small sniffles, but she still clung to Spike like she was afraid he might disappear, and leave them all alone...Again. Spike still held her tight, knowing just how it felt to see someone come back from the dead.

He knew the surprise, and the disbelief. The feeling of relief and grief, that sweeps through your body like a torrent of water. To feel your tears run down your face, burning your flesh like Greek fire.

The feeling that you must hold them, because if you let go, they might disappear again, and then your already fragile heart would break again. Break so hard, you could here it shatter. 'And people said I was a bad poet,' He thought.

Dawn's sniffles stopped slowly, she pulled back from him, her eyes puffy and red. "I missed you so much," She sniffed, "I wanted to cry all the time, but if I cried, that would mean I finally let you go.

And I couldn't do that." She said with a watery smile. "I missed you too Bit," Spike said with a soft smile. Dawn hugged him tightly once more, then wiped at her eyes. "Oh, hi Angel," She said, noticing him for the first time.

"Hi Dawn," He said hurriedly, "When will Buffy be back?" "Oh you're real polite," She huffed, "How should I know, it's Buffy's date, but really, that guy bugs me so much, he acts like you Angel." "What's that supposed to mean?"

Angel asked, sounding just like a teenager himself. "It means he's broody, won't let you drive his cars, and can't dance," Supplied Spike. Angel glared at the younger vampire. "No," Giggled Dawn, "Well...Kinda,"

Angel turned his glare to her, which made her giggle more. "But more like, he just ignores me, and treats me like I'm two," She said, her giggles stopped now. "I think she was way better off with you Spike," She said calmly.

"I can't believe you two broke up after the soul," She stared at Spike intently. Spike looked nervously around the room, looking everywhere but at Dawn. "Oh my God, you weren't together again?" "Um, no..."

Spike had decided on the floor as his focus point. "But she knows you're back right, she just didn't want to tell me for some reason right?" Dawn said, the happiness fading from her voice. "Well, um, no, not, not um really..." Spike stuttered.

"Ok mister," Dawn said in her no questions voice, "I want the full story, down to every last disturbing detail." Spike knew he didn't have to tell her, he was a master vampire for Gods sake;

he did not need to fallow the whims of a 17 year old girl! Then he made one fatal mistake, he looked at her again. "Ah, not the puppy eyes!" He deflated, "Fine you win," Dawn squealed and clapped her hands, scooting over on the couch to make room for him.

Spike slowly made his way over "Works every bloody time, how the hell do they do that?" He murmured. Andrew and Angel found seating for themselves, know this would take awhile.

By the end, Dawn's eyes where huge "Whoa..." Was all she could get out. "Yeah, well..." Spike said. "Wait the demon head thingy, you have it right?" Dawn asked.

Angel quickly stood up "Shit!" He said, "I gotta' run, Spike you can handle this right? That's great, bye!" He grabbed his coat and ran out the door. "Umm, ok," Said Dawn, "Guess not...So, Buffy really doesn't know you're here...I have'ta call her!" Dawn jumped up and ran to the phone.

"No Dawn," Spike got up and blocked her path, "You can't..." "Why?" She asked. "Because," He started, then realized he didn't really have a reason. "Exactly!" She said, pushing past him to the phone,

"Dawn, don't!" Spike said again. Andrew just sat and watched them wrestle for control of the phone. Dawn won the power struggle and was just about to hit the speed dial, when the door swung open.

Buffy and the Immortal stood in the doorway, observing the scene. Then Buffy broke the silence, "What the hell!"


	3. The Worst Day Ever

Disclaimer: First page! Keep reviewing please! This is my angsty/romantic peice, which is why is so much longer, because I'm a hopless romantic, so I gotta' do love stories.

_**The Worst Day Ever  
**_

Everyone currently in the apartment froze. Buffy leaned over and whispered something in the Immortals ear. He nodded solemnly, and left the building. Buffy walked into the apartment, and slammed the door closed.

"I thought you were finally dead," She hissed at Spike.

He mentally rolled his eyes, 'Here we go again.' "Buffy," He said calmly, "If I was the First, why would I be able to hold the phone?" He asked, looking at the phone he'd grabbed from Dawn.

"It's just a trick," Buffy said surely, "An illusion or something, Spike is dead," Her voice broke, "I watched him die, and it was you're fault!" She yelled. "I watched him turning into dust, as his stupid soul killed him!"

"Buffy love, it's me, really," He looked at her intently. She just glowered at him. "God, how can I prove it?" He asked more to himself than her.

Dawn then walked over, and pulled him into a hug. Spike looked down at her in surprise. "See," Dawn said to Buffy, "He's here, he's real, he's back," Then she looked in his eyes, "For good."

Spike smiled warmly at the teen, "Sure am Bit, see, Buffy, Dawn can touch me, I'm here."

Buffy stood there staring, her eyes wide and disbelieving. She slowly started walking over to him.

Dawn pulled back, seeing her sisters eyes, she grabbed Andrew's arm, "Hey, ow!" He protested, "Come on you wuss," Dawn rolled her eyes. Pulling him away from the couple in the middle of the room, to the back of the apartment.

Buffy had made her way over to Spike now, and stared straight into his eyes. Her gaze was making him uncomfortable, so he lowered his eyes to the floor for the second time that evening. "No," Buffy said quickly, almost sharply.

Spike looked up hurriedly, hoping he hadn't made her mad already.

She saw the worry in his eyes, and reassured him, "No, it's just that...I need to see your face, your eyes, to make sure you're really here." This made him focus on the floor once more. She took his chin in her hand and lifted his eyes to meet hers. "Just look at me," She said hoarsely. He looked straight into her eyes, and settled his gaze there.

She raised a shaky hand, and ran it over his face; she traced his features, features that had been time, and time again memorized by her hand. She felt comfort in this familiar face, and then she knew it really was him. Silent tears began streaming from her eyes. "My God," She whispered, "You're really back." Suddenly, her body had no strength left, her legs buckled, she fell into his arms, and cried.

Spike held her tight, and felt his own tears running down his face.

"I saw you die," She cried, "Your soul burned your body away. You just glowed with this light," She choked, "Then you caught fire, and you, you just died. I watched it, I had to watch you die, I had to watch you die." She kept repeating.

"Hush now love," Spike said in a soothing voice, "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."

She snuggled into his chest and cried her heart out, he was her safety net, he always had been, she'd felt so lost without him. She needed to hold him, to feel him, just to make sure. So she did. Her hands roamed over his chest and stomach, she ran her fingers through his hair, and messed it up to her liking.

Spike, however, was getting very uncomfortable. In more ways than one. He wasn't used to tender affection like this, with anyone, especially Buffy. Just being around her was bringing his old self out to surface, not his old mass murderer self mind you, but the self that was afraid of what he might do, afraid to be around this woman, afraid he wasn't good enough. She always brought out his soft side. All women did, Fred, Dawn, even Faith could make him look like a teddy bear.

As her hands moved to lower regions, his worries surfaced, and he snatched her hands away. She stepped back some, looking a little hurt.

He hadn't really meant to do that, but his feelings had been running on over drive since the phone call, and now, being here with her, it was just too much for him. He looked down at the ground 'Why do I keep looking here?' He thought.

"Sorry," He mumbled, almost inaudibly, but loud enough that Buffy heard it.

She stepped forward again, "For what?" She whispered.

"Don't know," He said in the same quiet, unsure voice.

She reached out to touch him, but he stepped back, and held his hands forward,

"I just, just don't...I...Can't," He said 'Make a bit more sense there Spike,' is what he thought.

"What?" Buffy asked, "Oh! Is it the soul? I thought you said it was permanent, and stuff, you know, pleasure included."

His eyes almost popped out of his head, "No! No, no, no," He laughed nervously, "I can do that, I can do that all night," He said making helpless gestures with his hands. "It's just that, I don't know," He sighed.

Buffy turned very serious then, "Do you not love me anymore?"

"No!" Spike shouted, "No, don't you ever think that! I love you with everything I have, demon and man," He told her, but he quietly added "Even though that's not enough," He thought he was quiet enough, but Buffy's slayer ears picked it up.

She grabbed the lapels of his jacket, and yanked him forward, "You don't get to think that," She hissed dangerously, "You never get to think you're not good enough for me, ever, got that?" Spike nodded weakly, "Good," She said, letting him go.

Spike looked at her for a moment, appearing deep in thought, she held his gaze, waiting for him to speak. 'Don't ask her, don't ask her, don't ask her,' he was thinking. "Do you really love me?" He suddenly blurted out, then smacked himself in the head, 'Shit! Why the hell do you never listen?'

But it was Buffy's turn to look at the floor. Truth was, she did love him, with all she had, but she had, problems with love, not giving it, just saying it. It was easier to say when he was about to die, because she thought then he might come with them, but now, with no life threatening situation on the horizon, she wasn't sure if she could say it. It was one of the things she wished she could do as well as Spike, find love, say it, and mean it. She could never understand why she couldn't say it...Probably because something bad always happened when she did.

She'd been silent for a long time, long enough that Spike knew the answer. Buffy saw the hurt look in Spike's eyes, she needed to tell him, 'Come on Buff, just three little words, it's not that hard,' Well she said three little words, but not the ones intended. "Sorry, I can't" She said.

Spike closed his eyes, and set his jaw, then he opened his eyes again, "You can't," He said, "Well, typical for everyone innit. You can't say it, I never get to hear it. But you know what fine! If you can only ever say you love me when I'm about to die, then we have some serious issues." He started moving towards the door, "Goodbye Buffy, have a good life with the Immortal, tell Bit I'll miss her, and I'll send her a post card from L-" His rant was cut off by Buffy's kiss, she pulled back quickly,

"I love you, you jackass!" She said, then pulled him into another deep kiss.

(A.N. Two more chapters to come! Woot!)


	4. Meet You There

Disclaimer: First page.

A.N. OK, here ya' go, fourth chapter. Know I'm gonna' strike a little deal with you all, if you can get me...10 reviews for this chapter, then I will give you chapter five. What do you say to that? Just tell your friends about it. Thanks!

_**Meet You There  
**_

'God I missed this, the Immortal sure as hell can't kiss this good,' Was the thought running through Buffy's mind.

Yes folks, they were still kissing (surprise, surprise.)

The only thing running through Spike's mind however, 'Oh God, I hope she still likes me. Of course she likes you, you twit, she's kissin' you. That really doesn't mean much with us. She said she loved you. True...' The verbal dispute going on in his mind was suddenly interrupted by one rather strong thought, 'The Immortal!' He pulled back from Buffy, who almost whimpered from the loss of contact. She reached forwards, trying to catch his lips again, but Spike stepped back. "Buffy, love," He said, "What about the Immortal."

"Oh yeah, him." Buffy said thoughtfully, "One second." Buffy walked over to the phone, and picked it up, she quickly dialed a number and held the phone up to her ear. As soon as the other line picked up, she began to cry. "Immortal?" She said tearfully, "No, not really, but I'll be fine. That was a guy I knew from a long time ago, but," She sniffed, "It wasn't really him. Uh huh. It's okay, but I just don't think I can date people thought, not right now, I'm thinking about probably even move back to the states. No, nothing you did, but, but" Her voice broke, and more crying came forth, "I had to kill him, and his death twice is just too much. No, really it's okay, I just rather we not see each other anymore, not even as friends. It'd just remind me of what I've lost. Thanks, you're so understanding. I know, I will. Bye." As soon as she hung up the tears stopped. "Immortal takin' care of, now what where you saying?" She asked innocently.

Spike stared at her in disbelief, "You are such a tremendous liar," He laughed, "Remind me never to get you pissed of at me."

She stood up and walked sinuously over to him. "Maybe you'll like me when I'm mad though," She breathed, still walking towards him, "You wanna' find out?"

Spike stared at her, and let her walk him backwards toward the couch, when they got there, she pushed him down on it, and climbed on to his lap.

"You like me?" She whispered over his lips,

"I love you," He sighed.

"How much?" She asked, catching up his bottom lip in her teeth,

"So much," He moaned.

"Hmm," Buffy whispered, "I think I need something a bit more specific," She said, giving him a searing kiss.

"Oh God," He panted, "I love you more than anything else in the world." "Still not good enough, not for you," She smiled.

"It's perfectly fine for me pet, really." He groaned.

"If you're sure," She teased him,

"Absolutely," He got out just before she pulled him into another kiss.

"Dawn, it's been almost an hour, and I have stuff to do tonight!" Andrew whined, "Why can't we just go out there."

"Because, what if they're having a moment?" Dawn asked,

"An hour long moment?" Andrew said disbelievingly, "Not even on a soap opera do they have hour long moments Dawnie."

"Fine I guess we can go look..." Said Dawn uncertainly.

They walked out into the main room, and watched the scene before them.

Buffy and Spike pulled apart from their kiss,

"So everything's okay with us, right?" Spike asked, sounding just like he did that night, almost a year ago, insane in a church searching, and begging for her forgiveness.

Buffy didn't know if he remembered that night, but she did, she always would. "She shall look on him with forgiveness, and everybody will forgive and love. He will be loved." She whispered, her eyes welling up with tears. She was still haunted by that night, seeing him burning on the cross.

_"Can-can we rest now? Buffy, can we rest? He asked sighing, hugging the cross. Tears poured down her face, as she watched a broken man seek his redemption. She slowly walked towards him, and touched his back. He clutched the cross tighter, and refused to let go. She used all her strength, and pulled him down. "So it's okay, right?" He asked, "Everything's okay? You forgive me, right?" She hadn't answered him, because she didn't know herself, she'd carried him to the priest, knowing he'd take care of him, then she left._

"I should have helped you that night," She said to Spike, "More than just carry you to someone."

"Buffy, it's fine, everything's forgiven," He looked in her eyes, "Right?" He added.

"Right," She smiled, pulling him into one last kiss.

"See!" Dawn hissed, "That is defiantly a moment!"


	5. When I'm With You

Disclaimer: First chapter! A.N. Ok, I gave up on the reviews thing, you all just must hate me... Joking, ok here it is! Chapter five! WOOHOO! It's short but fluffy!

_**When I'm With You**_

Buffy and Spike look up when they heard Dawn's voice.

"Ummm," Said Buffy, looking at their current position, "Hi guys!" She said perkily.

"Don't worry Buff," Said Dawn, "We heard it all, I think it's great."

Andrew nodded in agreement, "Ok, I really need to leave now," He said, "So, I'll see you two later." He walked over to the door and held it open, "Coming Dawn?" He asked.

"What? I wasn't going." Dawn said. Andrew looked pointedly at her, and cocked his head in the couple's direction. "Oh! Right, yeah, bye guys!" Dawn said, and raced out the door with Andrew.

"Ok..." Said Spike.

"They're gone, what'da wanna' do?" Buffy asked seductively, leaning close to him.

"Exactly what you want to do." He said. They shared a kiss, and proceeded to show each other how much they loved them.

(And now folks, this is where I let you use your imagination!)

Angel walked up to the apartment, having got the head, and giving it to the Italian firm to send back to L.A. Not thinking anything would be different than when he left, he simply opened the door, and walked in.

Buffy and Spike sat bolt upright on the couch, covered in just a sheet.

Angel looked down at their shocked faces in amusement.

"Hi Angel." Buffy said innocently, trying to act like she wasn't in bed with her ex's childe, "How are you?"

"Obviously not as good as you," Angel joked.

Buffy blushed, looking at Spike, who still had a shocked expression in his face.

"Guess you're done baking huh?" Angel asked seriously, but with a joking tone.

"Guess so," Buffy smiled.

"Take care of her Spike, you hurt her, I'll kick your sorry ass."

Spike looked up at Angel, "I hurt her," He said, "And I'll kick my own ass."

"Good enough," Angel said, "I guess I'll see you around, just call Spike, I'll send you a plane when you need it."

"Thanks mate," Spike said, looking at Angel.

Angel gave a mock salute, and walked out the door.

"Well that was awkward," Buffy quipped, "But, where were we?" She turned to Spike again.

"Right here baby."

"I love you Spike," Buffy said to him,

"I know, I love you too."

(And that as they say, is the end. Lights off, curtain down.)


End file.
